DLL: Final Words

Daily Life Language has come to an end. I am ready for a new avenue of photo sharing and story telling. I started this blog on a whim six years ago and it has been a wonderful creative outlet, opening my life to self-portraits, candid family photos and the nuances of nature. 

I saved all of last week's pictures for one big farewell. The timing worked perfectly, allowing me to capture key people in this Final Post.

 Come on! We'll have fun!

 I jump into the Next Big Thing.

 Spazz dancing is sometimes required

 M,e and Me

 Playing with the sun

 Friday night at the mall: we rock it.

 Hiking in Corvallis

 I love a candid synchro photo

Basking in the sun as Nick strides through the picture

Good-bye. A new adventure awaits. . .

 At Peets, working on finding my Yes!

 Celebrate Jen Day. Birthday Beach: Clothing Optional

 We took the scenic route home, stopping at waterfalls.

 Holiday drinks before the antique store. Peppermint, please!

Sarah's house is ready for Christmas. "Too soon!" says Nick.

The Weekend:

Jen and I drive out of the city to explore a new-to-us park in the rain, take pictures in the forest and stop at pretty waterfalls.

M and come over spontaneously. Pizza! Greed! 

I went to Sarah's house with the intent to sew and paint but ended up helping her with Christmas. I created the Mariah Carey Christmas station on Pandora and had my first holiday music experience of the year. With my dr appointments and creative brainstorming I have been content to let the holidays come slowly. 

I discovered The League; we both like it. That is rare

Nick baked bread and made French toast. It was amazing, as usual.

Now we are debating buying a tablet with credit card reward money. 
So much to consider, at least for Nick. He could weigh pros and cons for another year.

Standing on the bridge over Hwy 47

a Beloved Body extra

I made a new recipe for supper: spaghetti squash and chorizo. It is not a keeper but I had a lot of fun grocery shopping by myself this afternoon. I bought so many little amounts from the bulk section. Chia seeds, buckwheat groats, cashews coconut flakes. . .

Nick and I have been sitting on Rosetta Stone: German for a month. Tonight we scheduled a session. "7pm, class starts!" We finished Lesson 1 and already we like it. Die Frau rennt.

I have been watching Chopped: Thanksgiving episodes today. I am most excited for turkey and pie. I made a cranberry sauce today because they were too pretty to pass up, just sitting there waiting for me to take them home. I blended it and now it is like jam. It is *tart* and yummy.  Will I make homemade bread to put it on . . .?

Twirling in Forest Park, in sun and wind

The wind blew so hard today.

I listened to it.

I watched it in the trees.

I felt it on my body.

Change is coming.

D&C Picture Story

 My surgery bracelets. They used my "preferred" name!

 Even when I am nervous, self-portraits help me stay centered.

 As I am wheeled out I see BB waiting with Nick and his new friend.

They were talking about luxury cars. Of course. I love being wheeled around.

 I rest on the futon and watch What About Bob. Classic sick movie.

I felt so relieved upon waking up from surgery, like a weight had lifted and I could begin the process of cycling anew. The way the camera captured this light is exactly how I felt.

 I took little breaks from lying down to walk around...slowly. "You are a falling hazard." Nick kept a close eye on me and chopped wood. And set up all necessary amenities for recovery. And told me when to take pills. I had almost no pain and feel even better today. Thank you, God!

 The Newtons came with soup dinner and bottled beer. I tried to engage like normal but was so tired. All attempts to sleep in the afternoon were unsuccessful. So, at about 8, I was out. Nick took his turn at taking pictures.

Yin yoga this afternoon. I signed up on Tuesday, not sure how I would feel on Saturday. I felt fine and stretched my way into letting go and allowing what is to be. D&C: complete.

Yin yoga on Tuesday; my first yoga class in months

The highlight of my week happened just two hours ago: I found my guitar book! It has been missing since we moved and taking up brain space wondering, "Where the F is my guitar book!? I want to learn!" It showed up and I feel like a piece of me is back.

The rest of the week has been largely uneventful, a few pre-op appointments and journaling. I have been granted moments of clarity as I allow old anger to dissolve and pay attention to my true desires. Nick is coming to the hospital with me for my "minor procedure." I am excited for this tangible expulsion of Angry, Crowded Cells. A little sweep of the lining and my path birth opens before me.

My path is lined with love . . .

I love the spirit of Nette that chose her parents and family.

I love the Nette that hid parts of herself as she adopted a Social Self. 

I love the Nette that created a hormonal imbalance.

I love the Nette that cautiously explored fertility treatments.

I love the Nette that held anger in her body and the Nette that has been flushing it out for two years. Wail on that floor!

I love the Nette that overeats for "protection" from her empathic gifts.

I love the Nette that now chooses Joy and Truth.

N/Y Camp It

 Afternoon hike: Meg sneaks off . . .

 Watching them work while I sit in a low camp chair

 

 Intuitive health workshop - I take timed pictures anywhere

The weekend:
Cabin camping with M and E for the first time 
The most delicious dinner and breakfast and fire and laughter and rain and fresh air : I am ready for Round 2.
I attended an Intuitive Health Workshop that I have been looking forward to for five months. It was wonderful and enlightening. I can listen to masters of their craft speak for hours. Having listened to Marie on the radio and in person a couple of times I thought this might be information re-visited but it turned out to be educational and encouraging. I am an empath. I am free to choose my family. I know myself better than any other person. It is normal to be happy in all areas of my life.

I am feeling my happiness in. . .
cabins in the woods
nature walks
slow movement
music
campfires
photography
(and that is just after two days of discovery!)

October logged the 2nd most posts of my entire blog history. I took so many pictures and thought so many things. This week has been an exercise in de-funking. Beloved Body ended and created a creativity vacuum, a few disappointments popped up and I still can't get used to the early darkness of Fall. 

Yesterday, however, lifted me right out of Funk Town. Listening to Martha Beck shifted my brain space enough to bring back my lightness and humor. I needed a reminder that I know what I am doing and what I am doing knows me.

We are going camping! That is always a Hot Track. I think my Divine Path is in the woods.

Beloved Body: Week 4

Day 22: Beloved Change

 My crown glows. Today's instructions were to pick a part of our body that has changed. My entire body changes every day, every second, making new cells, thinking new thoughts. The past few years have given me a map to my magnificence through books, introspection and spiritual guidance.

As I allow God's love to flow into and out of me, reminding me that I am loved beyond words, celebrated for every little thing and supported without question, my life expands. My crown glows with golden, healing light and I rest in its warmth and power.

Day 23: Beloved Adorning

 When asked to photograph in clothes that make us comfortable and express our style I immediately gravitate to layers, length, and dresses. I wear jeans most of the time but I don't really like them. I wear them because they are easy and my thighs rub together in skirts and dresses. Leggings are on the top of my list of comfort wear but I only have one good pair. Why am I not indulging my comfort and style? This process of Adorning will continue forever and I will choose to honor my body with clothing it loves to wear.

 Things I love to wear: jackets - especially denim and leather
my rhinestone headband and almost any big ring
well-worn jeans - I mean Well Worn, almost tissue paper thin
soft cotton - anything that moves easily
earrings - I never go a day without them
color - these photos don't show it, but I love pink, blue, green . . .
shoes that are easy to take on and off and comfortable
fingernail polish - I love seeing color out of the corner of my eye

Day 24: Beloved Me in the Mirror

 The bathroom mirror is where I say nice things to myself the most. Every morning I speak kindly to my face before going into my room and reading encouraging words. I also preen in the mirror, so this captures a self love of maintenance. You're so pretty, Nette!

 The lighting in my room is very low and soft. There are two mirrors in here and I don't look in them very much. Today I did. They both reflected back my attention and kindness.

 While Nick and I were waiting for the doctor I welcomed the opportunity to look at myself with love before hearing any words she had to say. I love myself for pursuing fertility and support. My body is capable and whole.

Day 25: Beloved Fear-Facing

 Today was for a new perspective, a part of us we don't normally share, etc. I am pretty liberal with my pictures, showing all sides and mostly happy to do it.  As I started taking pictures it wasn't the perspective that caught my eye as much as my attire. My Fear-Facing is sharing my story of staying at home, watching tv, and staying in my pajamas until 1pm. Sometimes I do, sometimes I do.

 I used to be embarrassed about living a life inside, not making money, eating what I want when I want, watching loads of television, talking to no one during the day. Now, after some re-framing, I embrace this season of my life. The day will come when I am out of the house a lot, talking to people all the time, caring for a child, eating on a schedule, etc. and I will miss these years of "down time." Fear: Dissolved!

Day 26: Beloved New Story

 The point of today is to tell a new story about my body. Whatever stories my gremlins have been feeding me for years is no longer welcome or useful. (it never was) Today, I make my own story, taking pictures of my whole body and beginning my new, blank page with, "Hello, my Beloved. You are . . ." I am the narrator.

 My Beloved story is filled with light and land. The light of Nette, perfect as she is, an exquisite expression of nature. The pictures I took today did not have any continuity until I looked at them together and saw they all contained light pouring over me and on me.

 The sun surrounds me with her rays. I soak them up, standing firm on my rock. My new body story stars a grounded woman who wanders the Earth with ease.

 I celebrate me. I narrate a Body Story that honors my connection to God's light in me. May it shine forth with guidance and grace.

Day 27: Beloved Past/Future

 Today I surrounded myself with pictures from my past. Baby, toddler, kid, teen, adult Nette all got love from me. I told Past Me things that I wanted and needed to hear through the ages.

 Saying kind things aloud to past versions of me is healing. I forget that I can love myself, my body, my mind in ways that no one else can. I face the future with tools of tenderness and choose to care for my body. It is mine.

Day 28: Beloved Ending/Beginning

  

Instructions: close eyes and thank self for taking this journey. "I am at home with the Me. I am rooted in the Me that is on this adventure. Now take a deep breath and realize this is Me breathing." Thank you, Grosse Point Blank!

 I took three separate series of pictures this morning. The first ones: bad. The second ones: amazing! perfect! I deleted them all. On accident. FURY! The third ones: fine. The sun had gone past its ideal position in the sky and these are what I am left with. I am sad that the best pictures of today, the last day of this self-love course, are lost. But, the process stays with me and I got to see the pictures even if no one else does.

 This is how angry I was.

Day 12 Re-visited: Beloved Skin

 A love note to my skin, my Self. I wrote the words that popped into my head first: beloved, strong, whole. I am soft and loved, firm and supported. The balance of these often contradictory words is something I continue to seek.

 I am free to be me: soft, loved, radiant, kick-ass, assertive, sensitive...anything, everything.

 Yesterday's affirmation was, "I listen with love to the messages of my body." And today's Bible verse is, "Be therefore imitators of God, as beloved children. Walk in love..."
And so I do, so I do.

I love . . .
Nick's pretzel rolls / watching e entertain herself, rolling across the room / friendships that evolve, naturally / getting my paints out again / sunshine without bugs all over my patio

 Repeat hike

 What I find when I reach the top

 Pushing the boundaries of ledge sitting

 "We could kill a vampire with this."

Nick meets his first John Deere logging equipment

Three years and we chose to hike Chinidere again. It takes 2 hours to get to the trailhead but it is a beautiful Gorge drive and we went on the Express trail this time. It is steep climbing the entire time. After an hour of heavy breathing we both agree we like the blood pumping . . . until we don't. I say nice things to myself as Nick walks ahead of me and I get solo time. No one was on the top when we arrived. That never happens and I loved it.

He is playing games with Men Friends for the first time in a few months. I wax, do laundry, bake cookies, have Buffy "Hush" queued up to watch. I love today. And as I learned in my devotion this morning, God loves it with me.